According to society, I have a few strikes against me:
I am a woman (and a self proclaimed feminist no doubt)
I am black ....and
I am a millennial
^^^ all of these things, I personally see as a plus, but hey, that's not the point here. Where I'm going with this is; despite all of these things, I actually do want to get married!!! I know, shocker right?! But I can't wait to have an amazing chocolate, God fearing man on my arm and my beautiful 2.5 kids, white picket fence and our two dogs Roux and Magnolia. So what's my dilemma? I live in a world where men are intimidated by women who know what they want and refuse to settle for less, millennials everywhere are deciding that "marriage just isn't their thing", our means of communication have been dumbed down to 140 character increments and the church is telling us to just twiddle our thumbs and wait until "God sends him our way". Honestly... truly... really... what is a girl to do? (Yes, that was a JoAnn the Scammer reference... you're welcome). I find myself frustrated on a daily basis. I go from work to home to church to home and repeat with an occasional Black Girls Who Brunch event and if I'm lucky, the gym. Outside of the occasional selfie, if on social media, I'm fighting racial injustice and misogyny daily because well... see numbers 1 and 2 above.
I've been observing a lot of posts and having conversations with many of my millennial counterparts and so many have either settled on "I don't want kids" or "I'm not ready for marriage, I have more life to live... catch me when I'm 40" and here I am getting dangerously close to my "'Bout to be 30s" and actually desiring both marriage and kids. Ooh and a Godly marriage. One that'll last. One that's worth fighting for... dang it! There I go making all these demands and stuff.
Who do I think I am?!!
Honestly... I think I'm worth it. I think I'm worth more than a 11:00pm "What you doin" text. I'm worth more than a "I'm not ready for a relationship" or a "I'm not interested in settling down." Oh ooh and a few more things, I don't want you because of your financial abilities, yes that's great but I bring a lot to the table too. I don't need you to take care of me, but I'd like you to. Not in a physical manner (tho important) but emotionally, intellectually and most importantly SPIRITUALLY!!
Let's pray together, grow together, learn from one another. Let's travel the world and learn a new languages together. Let's educate and fight injustices together! Let's stand on the Word of God that says 1 can put a thousand to flight, but 2 10,000! THIS is my definition #relationshipgoals. I can only pray that my husband, wherever he is, is thinking the same way...
I don't really have a solution to any of this. I'm actually just kind of rambling right now. But I was triggered by a post from a fellow millennial who is against marriage for hisself right now because he feels he has more of the world to see. Kudos to him. But for me, I'm ready to see the rest of the world with my other whole. Not half, but whole. Because as we come together each in wholeness we'll be a force to be reckoned with!!
So as for THIS millennial... Marriage IS an option.