I'm a QUEEN... or am I?

October 20, 2017

Alright, y'all. Lemme tell y'all something. Imposter syndrome is a #($%@! For those of you who don't know, imposter syndrome is "a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a 'fraud'." Seems extreme right? Except, nah fam. It's real.

 

Where does this come from you may ask? Well, back in April 2017, I was admitted into grad school. YAY! Go Me! Ready to embark on this journey from full time professional to full time student again. I was finally ready to say yes to my dreams and pursue a Master's of Arts in Theatre, Performance and Practice. It was going to be great right?? Well... umm.. yeah, kinda. Except there's this part of grad school that no one likes to talk about. It's that point where you begin to question what the hell you're doing there. You question how the heck you even got in in the first place. You may be out here producing dope work and others think so, but for whatever reason you can't seem to wrap your own brain around it and are convinced that eventually you'll be exposed and then what?!? Don't get me wrong, I'm smart and talented... I know this. It's not an insecurity per say. But see, so are my cohort mates, professors and everyone else in the department. We each have our own strengths but when one of your weaknesses is even partially exposed it makes room for imposter syndrome to pay a visit. The funny part in all of this is that while I'm over here SCREAMING on the inside, there are people telling me they look up to me. And I'm for real over here like "LOL WHY?!" 

 

As I type this, I realize how crazy that sounds but ooooh BOY is it real!?! Honestly, I wish I had some sort of step by step process for how to break free from imposter syndrome, but I don't. If I figure it out, I'll be sure to let y'all know tho. I am just super grateful for my tribe. It's small... like really small, but it's is MIGHTY! I'm blessed to be in relationship with people who consistently remind me that I CAN! So if you find yourself dealing with this ugly little demon, remind yourself that A) YOU'RE A BADASS! B) You deserve to occupy every space that your body enters and C) YOU CAN DO IT!!! You don't have to have it all together, but remember you're a boss and don't forget it!!

 

So be encouraged. Ish gets real. It happens. But go ahead and strike that power pose, toss your hair, adjusts your crown and STRUT HONEY!

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